Mother's Day and Lady Stuff

Mum's had worse days!

Monday was 'International Women's Day' and today is 'Mother's Day' (in the UK). Our moment comes later in the year, with 'Father's Day' and 'International Men's Day' respectively.

"Every day is friggin' men's day!" my wife would say.

Mother's Day gets tricky with small kids, as effectively your are stung twice! I can hardly make my 2 and 5 year old, visit the card shop and florist alone. So the burden falls on me, along with gifts for my own mum.

They should rename it 'Wife Day' or 'Valentines 2', because if you have small children, that's your reality. This morning we enjoyed a McDonald's takeaway breakfast, something different. It goes against my healthy living, but hey, it's a special day. 

Today's gifts include flowers (standard), Charlotte Tilbury make-up (pillow talk?), chocolate truffles (yum) and a small bottle of Sauvignon blanc (pisshead). I'll be cooking a roast dinner later and then it's video calls with the mums of the family.

The Motherly Bond

Everybody needs their mum; you can never underestimate it, you can never replace it. The motherly bond is unique, and so different to a fatherly bond. 

Emotionally, mums operate on a new level. When the kids are upset, its their mum they seek for comfort. When the kids are unwell, it's their mum they go to for cuddles. As a Dad, sit back; some areas of parenting are reserved for mum.

I can't replace their mother, and I won't should try. Mothers tick the boxes that dads can't, and vice-versa. Dad strengths are elsewhere, so be at peace with it.

Mothers tick the boxes that dads can't, and vice-versa.

As you get older and find independence, the motherly bond transforms somewhat. We all need the motherly bond, to a greater or lesser extent. Daughters typically remain close to their mothers, but even sons need a bond.

I am a fairly independent, and I don't bother my mum with trivial stuff. But I take comfort in knowing that my mum would be there, if I needed her. That's how it should be, a deep and respectful bond.

Respecting Women

Sadly it's been a mixed week for the celebration of women. It is clear to me, that too many women are confronted with poor male behaviour. Poignant news stories and the #metoo movement, show that work is needed. Many women grow-up confused or weary of men, if they experience aggressive or intimidating male behaviour.

I don't have daughters, but I can play my part, in being respectful to the women around me. As a dad, show respect to your child's mother, regardless of your relationship. This can be difficult during moments like separations or divorce, but always demonstrate a positive male attitude. 

Love this movie! ❤
Sure, no relationship is perfect and I bicker with my wife. You don't need to filter everything. My boys experience both the joys and downsides of the male and female interaction. But we retain the respect and they see this. 

Don't allow your children to be disrespectful towards their mum either, particularly boys. You need your partner's back, at all times. Set out what is acceptable and set the right culture.

For balance, I caveat the above, by saying, we need to be careful about demonising men too. 

Women love romance and the old-fashioned love story. That's why my wife's favourite movie is 'The Notebook' and mine is not (I could never understand Ryan Gosling!). Let's not water-down positive male attributes like being a gentlemen, having confidence, ambition and taking a lead.

I met my wife, by having the confidence to approach her and to show interest. If this behaviour becomes unacceptable, we are in trouble. We need to be careful, and not spread fear. There are a lot of honest respectful men out there, who make wonderful boyfriends, husbands and fathers. 

Women Are Social Animals

You have admire ladies on a social level. When it comes to social interaction, they effortlessly glide into conversation, so naturally and care-free.

Since lockdown, I have been doing most the school-runs. So at 8:35am and 3:15pm each day, I am surrounded by women in the school playground. I feel like the token male, appearing on the Loose Women panel. 

Men can easily become socially awkward, in the presence of many women. It isn't easy for a man to form conversation, because we don't have the obvious commonalities.

My advice; keep it simple, keep it about the kids and life. Believe it or not, a lot of women enjoy male company and talking to men. I have survived so far, and was even added to the mums WhatsApp group! 🤣😂

Final Thoughts

As always, let's summarise my ramblings into digestible chunks.

  • The motherly bond is important, always, as a child and adult.
  • Set an example to your children, by demonstrating respectful male-to-female behaviour.
  • Pockets of society need to be shamed and do better, but don't demonise all men.
  • Respect our differences, and be respectful always.
  • The male and female dynamics are a thing of beauty, when executed correctly.
Happy Mother's Day to y'all! 😘

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